How To Love Yourself Well

Each day that comes our way brings with it heaps upon heaps of emotions and thoughts depending on where life has us at the moment.  So it is each year as the month of February greets us.  For some there are expectations of a proposal of forever love from a new or longtime beau, birthday celebrations with friends, black-tie black history celebration invitations, or beautifully wrapped love gifts.  “Yes, bring it ON!!!,” the excited ones yell.  Others call upon heaven to hurry the heavy loveless days into yesterday.  The love month for these pray-ers are riveting reminders of lost love or exacerbations of loneliness panging against their rib. cage.. “Lord, can we just skip over it all?,” they mutter.

What surprise then when the calendar page flips revealing the following month and some expectations remain unfulfilled.  What do we do with this new month when the longings of the prior month linger on in the new one? We cannot keep praying our todays into yesterdays, can we?  No.  The answer is no.  How then, do you embrace calendar days no matter the expectations or exacerbations they may bring?  You do this by loving yourself well.  Yes, I know.  We hear this all the time, everywhere.  It’s quite common to hear the command to: “love yourself well!”  But, how, exactly, are we to do this?  To that I say: good question.

 

Here are just a few ways to start loving yourself well: 

Step off of the love rollercoaster

• • Revoke the power of others to flip your love (and emotions) switch on and off 
  • No one can tell you when it’s time to find love, get married, love others, love God, love yourself,  or love ice cream (Note to self, especially, on the last one …)

Prioritize what is important to you

• • Set aside a regular time of day for what’s most important to you
  • Don’t let anything interrupt or invade this time – this is your life – you get to set the priorities of your life.

Consider less what others will think or say about you

• • Focusing on the opinions of others will stop you from moving forward. Period. Don’t let this self-sabotaging habit keep you from your calling.
  • This is a huge energy and time waster.  You need to make good use of your days!
  • Come up with a plan on how you will send those pesky people pleasing words that show up in your head, scurrying away. 
    • Will you laugh at them with a , “Ha ha ha!  I see you.  GET OUTTA HERE!”?
    • Will you flip them away, with a “Be gone!”?
    • Just be sure to have a plan to shoo them off  

Do something new to care for yourself

• • Change one (or more, it’s your choice, yes it is), eating habit for the better
  • Find a way to move more that you’ll love – whether it’s dancing, walking, riding a bike
  • Get some new pillows or luxurious bedding that transform your sleep space
  • Drop a bad habit.  For Real. For Real.

Determine that you will be the best version of yourself

• • With the help, guidance and wisdom only God can give
  • Heal. Heal. Heal. Heal.  Heal. Heal. Heal your heart.
    • Get the help you need to heal your heart.
  • Invest the time, energy and effort to improve your skills, talents, and spiritual gifts

How well you are loving others is insight into how well you are loving yourself. Are you jealous? Competitive? Are you angry with others all the time? Unhappy when others succeed?  Unable or unwilling to help others?  Argumentative? Divisive?  I’ve been all of these, and more.  It was only when I was desperate enough to know how to love that my heart was ripe enough for God to speak in a way I was able to hear.  My heart in God’s hands was necessary for me to begin a path of healing I desperately needed.

Without loving yourself well, you cannot love others well.  Without loving others well you cannot love God well.  These are not my words, this is from God Himself,  “No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” 1 Jn 4:12

My plan last year was to write a theme for the month at the beginning of every month.  This month I found myself unable to sit at the computer or even think about what to write. Every morning I tried to muster something but nothing came. NOTHING.  I finally decided to stop trying. I shooed away the, “but what are people going to think… it’s not going to look good if… what about… etc…” I decided to love myself well and to do the two things that were most important to me every morning:  (1) Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. (2) Read my Bible passages so that I complete the Bible in a year.  Nothing would interrupt that.  Not writing, work, or anything else.  This is how I loved myself well in February.  By giving myself the break I needed from perfectionism, appearances and self-made obligations.

Oh yeah, that’s another way to love yourself well. Give yourself a break.

Being our best self is one way to honor the sacrifices of so many who gave up so much, including their lives, for so much of what we have today.
Love yourself well every day of every month of every year.
I’m rooting for you.

With the love of Christ,